My grandson’s favourite thing in the world!

Heads and tails, heads and tails…

I know a little bit about wine,

but mostly what I’ve learnt is that you don’t need to know much.

Fish on toast is the best thing in the world

Well, you know...but this is fabulous!

I said a hip-hop, the hippie, the hippie to the hip, hip-hop…

Ok, that’s enough of that!

Beef in loads of soy sauce. It’s lovely.

But, do as I say, not as I do!

I love Massive Attack's Karmacoma.

I think of it when I cook this: Keemakorma (“What? Jamaica and Roma”). No? Just me then

This is a truly beautiful thing.

Look at the previous recipe (salt beef) about a week before you want a sandwich. Yeah, I know.

Super-easy, even if it does take a week.

Make a brine, put some brisket in it, forget for a week and then simmer it. How hard can it be?

It doesn’t do to be too puritanical,

whether about photography or recipes.

No. No I don’t know why it’s called that, and I don’t care – google it if you care.

but whether or not you ever find out why it’s called that, just make it: It’s astonishingly tasty Thai Surf’n’Turf!

Tomayto-Tomarto

I’ve written about Sofrito before, but I didn’t realise that both the Italians and Spanish use the same word. Well, actually I did know that, but didn’t realise it was for slightly different things.

Ahem, sorry about that

Having listened to this two part report from the food programme, we’ve been eating a lot more beans at home.

Sunny Sunday in Frigiliana

This is a nice bean stew that may or may not be “authentic” but uses Spanish flavours and since I’m in Spain cooking it with things I bought here, I’m claiming its authenticity.

It's not exactly cooking

Well, this is predominantly a food site, even if I am using it to blog about spending a couple of months in Spain.

This is a version of Puttanesca.

A puttana is a sex worker in Italian and it is thought to have been named because it was quick and easy for people with a "busy schedule" to cook and eat between appointments.

Vinegary rabbit is not everyone’s thing

Umbrian Rabbit is from The Classic Food of Northern Italy (Anna del Conte). I love it but the vinegar hit, and the rabbit for that matter, are not to everyone’s taste so I’ve adapted it by using chicken instead of rabbit and wine instead of vinegar. It’s worth trying the original though.

The real reason we have roasts on Sunday

There are several ways of making this, but the traditional description of gravy is that it’s made from the juices from the meat. Well, if you’re Achilles on the beach of Troy sacrificing 20 white bulls for the death of Patroclus then you might have enough juices for that but the rest of us use oxo.

Yum Yum! This is a beautiful thing

This is a very beautiful hot and sour soup from Thailand. You can just about make it vegetarian, but the fish sauce is important in my view.

No, nothing at all to do with French Nazi sympathisers

When life gives you lemons, make a posset…

… or a Gin and Tonic. Your call but I’m less interested in the posset now I've though of that.

The best soup in the world

This is inspired by a Rick Stein recipe that is absolutely lovely.

The beginning and the end of civilisation

Yuval Noah Harari in his book Sapiens explains how this is where it all went wrong for us.

This is probably the most important thing you need to know how to cook

There are ways of doing it; fresh tomatoes, passata, tinned tomatoes, in my view it doesn’t really matter but let’s face it, most British tomatoes don’t really taste of much; they’re not like the ones you eat on Holiday where the sun shines more predictably so I think it’s always better to use tinned tomatoes or passata.

Can I have some more please?

Gruel? Really? That’s what this translates as? Blimey, I’ll have some of that!

It ain’t Banana Fritters!

I went for a Thai meal with vegetarians once. It was nice enough. Then the waiter asked about deserts: “Apple fritters please”; “Bananas in Coconut Milk for me”, “Ooh, me too. Bananas in Coconut Milk”. It got to me : “Lamb Masaman Curry, Please”.

Can curry paste be religious?

This is translated as “Muslim” curry paste. It may have been brought in by Persian traders. "Mussulman" is arguably another word for Muslim. It’s interesting – either way it feels like it comes from well to the West of Thailand.

Made it up before I knew it had a name. Not authentic but it went down well

I couldn't anything I fancied in the Mexican cookbook - seems like all the veg had cheese and/or bread of some sort so I thought about ratatouille with Mexican flavours instead. The Spanish do something called Pisto but it's very tomato-ey and I wanted it a bit less gloopy

Anything but plain - you've got to love them Mexicans!

This is the same principle as Plain Rice where you measure the rice and liquid beforehand and cook it until the liquid is gone.

There’s a chemistry...

So this is about using the acid in lemons or limes to cook the fish. It’s not new – soused herrings (vinegar), ceviche, escabeche, actually the whole process is just pickling really. The trick is not to keep it in there too long.

One thing you can pretty much guarantee you can do better than a restaurant or pub can

I don't know what it is - cold fat; raw potatoes; crowding them in the pan... But anyway they are just always better at home

If you like cheese, you like peas, you'll love Cheezy Peaz!

Paneer is now widely available in supermarkets and is a bit like halloumi in that it stays together when you cook it, so if you fry it in spices it will collect them like tofu would

Not a gravy but not as pretentious as it sounds

So everything is a jus now but there are 2 important distinctions between jus and gravy. Gravy is pretty much a velouté which really means it’s thickened with flour and/or dairy of some sort. And gravy can have lumps of onion or whatever in it. Jus should be clear of any lumps.

I don’t wear Wellington boots and I don’t like pastry that much so . . .

This is similar to beef wellington but with lovely crispy prosciutto crudo on the outside instead of pastry.

Jelly and custard for grown-ups

This looks complicated but is really easy and looks and tastes great. Make jelly from raspberries and cava/prosecco and make custard. I think you can do without the whipped cream, but I put it on this one and its included in the recipe.

Clown divorce: custardy battle

There are 2 versions of this, I wanted to make it thicker for a trifle so reduced the milk to 350ml and took an egg out but left the same amount of everything else

Bechemal for grown-ups. You don’t always want milk in your dinner unless you’re 1yrs old.

Velouté is based on a roux in the same way as Bechemal but you add stock, wine or something else instead of milk. The classic velouté is a “white stock”; not beef or lamb, so think fish, chicken or veg. The absolute classic is veal stock.

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck . . . fry it!

Duck is fatty but only really in a single thick layer between the skin and flesh – the meat itself is rich but lean. Get the fat out and use it for something else (Roasties)

65 million Buddhists can't be wrong

Do this with prawns, beef, vegetables, whatever you can find, you can't go wrong with this absolutely beautiful thing

What do you mean you don't speak Thai? You eat Green Curry don't you?

You can buy perfectly reasonable thai green curry paste and the shop-bought stuff includes kaffir lime leaves which makes life easier, But Thai food is all about freshness; bright, fresh flavours - herbs, chillis lemongrass. You should try it

Not that yellow stuff, this is much, much better

Don't get me wrong, I love standard paella; the yellow one with seafood, saffron, chorizo and tomatoes. It tastes of sun, sangria and sex

This is what cheap olives are for

There's no real recipe for this in terms of proportions, make it how you like and adjust as you go

Sometimes you just need to make stuff

This is it, no need to mess with it at all, but you can obviously

Potatoes and bacon with wine, cream and cheese. And not just any old cheese - it's Reblochon!

You can make this as a side dish (this recipe) or you can beef it up a bit with chicken and make it almost like a fish pie (a bit more wine and cream) with the potatoes on the top of a creamy chicken and bacon base

Easy-peasy Lemon (or orange or lime or whatever you want or vinegar for that matter) squeezy!

Ahh, it trips off the tongue but you'll never eat mint sauce out of a jar again! So is it just a posh version of mint sauce? Not really. It has basil and parsley as well as mint and can be eaten with anything: try it with fish, it is fabulous.

It's what the mackerel would have wanted!

This is a very basic recipe which you can play with by adding different flavourings if you like: garlic, spring onion, chilli, up to you

Like porridge but nice!

When I had it in Hong Kong it seemed as though the rice had been broken up which made it smoother. I just use rice

Named after one of Meg's school friends, its a bit like coq au vin but tarragon gives it a lovely fresh lift

Do this in a heavy-bottomed casserole and if you can get chicken with skin on so you can roast it and get it lovely and crispy on the outside and gives the stock a lovely flavour. Whole legs are good but if you don't like bones then skin-on breasts are ok

What a Pulava!

This started as a conversation with Meg about rice (I know).

Wouldn't be a Bradford Christmas without this!

Remember, there's more to life that Cheddar!

Much more!

It's lots of butter and is the basis of any Cheese Sauce, Parsely Sauce, or . . . you get the idea

It's simple but you can cock it up if you try to rush it. But then it only takes a couple of minutes anyway so why mess around? this makes about half a pint but you just increase each of the ingredients in this proportion. the important bit s that you have equal amounts (weight) of butter and flour

"Pan" on anything pisses me off quite a lot: What else would you fry in? Bucket-fried? Even the colonel fries the chicken separately from the bucket he puts it in

Anyway, you can just cook the salmon in the pan on the hob (fry it) or start it in the pan and then put the pan in the oven (pan-roasted). Pan-roasted is fair enough I suppose

I'm not a great fan of Salmon but this recipe just works!

Like every fish recipe it's easy to lose your nerve and keep it in for too long. You'll learn how you like it after you've done it a couple of times but this really works

Ever wondered what tinned peas were for? Well, it's this

Use tinned marrowfats for this recipe. I've used sage because it goes better with the ham or bacon than mint would, but peas and mint go really well. In summer use frozen peas instead of tinned and leave the meat out, swap the sage for mint and you've got something beautiful

It's all about the Dimethyl Sulfide, stupid!

Basically when you cook cabbage it produces Dimethyl Sulfide which is that nasty smell and not a great taste. However all you need to do is cook it properly - either quickly or slowly. Anything in between is pants. I'll put another recipe on for cooking it quickly but this is lovely

This is why there's Bourbon

OK, so this is simple again - like a Martini: Sweet Vermouth, Bourbon (just my way - Canadian or other whiskies lay as strong a claim and Angostura Bitters

You know how I feel about this. It's not quite a Religion but . . .

OK, so this is simple: Vermouth, Gin and . . . ummm . . . nothing else

Rendag-diggidy-dang-a-dang, baby: Cook beef in coconut milk until there isn't any liquid left

This is adapted from Charmaine Solomon's Complete Asian Cookbook

Chicken and wine - them Frenchies know what they're about!

Not the best picture in the world I'll grant you but a lovely thing

This is what keeps the world turning!

This is the basis of pretty much every long-grain rice recipe. If you measure the rice and the water you don't need to drain it so it retains its nutrients and flavour

Makes me happy when we have this: "Tonight we're dhaling, Darling"

You've got to love this stuff. It costs pennies; you can make more than you need and it will keep; and it is delicious!

Taazi Khumben Alu Mattar Kar - or curried mushrooms, potatoes and peas to you and me.

This is slightly adapted from a recipe in Charmaine Solomon's Complete Asian Cookbook

Don’t use cheap Lager, Not just for this, it's a general rule.

Beef in beer, Guinness works well or anything brown. You can adapt it with Pork and Cider for a nice change

Eggs Benedict in a crispy edible bowl

This is taken from a recipe by Rachel Khoo and is lovely. It looked a bit easier when she did it using french sliced loaf which looked a but bigger but it works.

Fried leftovers! Fantastic!

To do this properly, 1lb of spuds to 1lb of butter. Not healthy but who cares?

Seems silly even putting this is in – how hard can it be, right? Just boil the potatoes – it doesn’t really matter what type but, again, floury makes your job easier.

Crispy skin is what this is all about

Dead easy. You can buy “Baking Potatoes” now and they are fine – they are just big spuds. It’s just a marketing thing – you can use any spud. The fluffier the better – King Edward are ideal.

Rice. Lovely, sticky, deeply-flavoured rice. Lick the plate

Risotto is sold to cooks as a dark art that normal people can’t do – it’s all about timing, hot stock and standing around for 20 minutes while it comes together.

We all just love this! Just do it!

This is the original and easiest version using shop-bought pesto. It’s really nice and easy but not as nice as fresh pesto.

“We don’t have this in Mexico, it’s an American thing. But if we did it would be like this . . ."

This is a briliant recipe based on a recipe by Lourdes Nicholls who says something along the lines of “We don’t have this in Mexico, it’s an American thing. But if we did it would be like this . . .

Yes, I know it sounds weird: Bonkers but beautiful

This is adapted from a recipe in Sophie Grigson's Eat Your Greens - the only book on cooking vegetables anyone needs

Crazy, mixed-up squid

Yep, you normally cook squid for a short amount of time and when you go over it's like an inner-tube. Squid is like a lot of other ingredients; lots of people don't like it but that's because a lot of people including restaurants don't know how to cook it.

This is why it crossed the road

Get the best chicken you can afford and ignore the packet cooking instructions but make sure you know how much it weighs

Everyone thinks their recipe is the best.

But they’re wrong. This is.