Super-easy, even if it does take a week.

Make a brine, put some brisket in it, forget for a week and then simmer it. How hard can it be?

Chicken and wine - them Frenchies know what they're about!

Not the best picture in the world I'll grant you but a lovely thing

Everyone thinks their recipe is the best.

But they’re wrong. This is.

Not that yellow stuff, this is much, much better

Don't get me wrong, I love standard paella; the yellow one with seafood, saffron, chorizo and tomatoes. It tastes of sun, sangria and sex

Yes, I know it sounds weird: Bonkers but beautiful

This is adapted from a recipe in Sophie Grigson's Eat Your Greens - the only book on cooking vegetables anyone needs

Don’t use cheap Lager, Not just for this, it's a general rule.

Beef in beer, Guinness works well or anything brown. You can adapt it with Pork and Cider for a nice change